When I hear someone says: “I don’t have a confidence problem”…I don’t believe him/her.
At some point, we all have confidence issues. It doesn’t matter how good or strong we feel about ourselves most of the time.
You can feel amazing for years, but then something suddenly happens, and you hear some voices in your mind that start to erode that confidence you had before.
This happens all the time. In business, it can be about:
- A career promotion that hasn’t been accepted
- A salary increase that has been denied
- A great idea that has been turned down
- A potential great client that said no
- An interview or a meeting that didn’t go as expected.
- And much more.
When you start losing confidence, the risk is to turn your energy and positivity into stress, negativity, burnout, mental paralysis, and sometimes depression.
This is when a new vicious and dangerous cycle is created. You start feeling inadequate, incompetent, or unqualified for the role, project, challenge.
At this point, fear kicks in. It’s a fear of judgment and/or rejection. The more we feel fear, the more others feel it as well.
How can you prevent this from happening?
Here some practical ideas based on my relationship with confidence:
You can’t initiate any real change until you become aware of your feelings and any limiting beliefs.
When do these feelings kick in? What does it trigger them?
Acknowledge. Take notes. Make these triggers invisible.
2.Reframe your thoughts
Don’t let negative thoughts prevail. If you dig down, you know that you’re better than you think right now.
Reframe these thoughts and convert them into positive statements. Write them down. Repeat them as much as you can.
P.S. Winners do this all the time…
3.There is no failure. Only learning
Let’s reframe the word “failure”. What we call failure is often just a setback.
The most important thing is how you deal with a setback. If you see setbacks as opportunities to learn from mistakes, you’ll be learning and growing much faster than anyone else around you.
This happens in the corporate world too.
How many initiatives “fail” without spending a good valuable time in understanding what went wrong and what can be done better next time?
4.Focus on what is in your control
We focus too much time on things that are out of our control that lead us nowhere.
Instead, you should focus much more time on the things that are in your control.
What is in your sphere of influence? What can you do to generate a different outcome before embarking on a challenging initiative?
5.Eyes on the prize
When we feel poorly confident, we immediately think about the “now”. What is going on here? What is going to happen? What will others think about me? Etc. Etc.
The key is to stop caring about what others think about you and start reconnecting your mindset with your big goals and vision.
This is where you are heading to, so remember there is a bigger picture that matters in your life.
6.1% stretch every day
Finally, don’t worry about how long it’ll take to get you there.
Major changes and big goals take time to be accomplished. The most important thing is not speeding. It’s progress.
You just need to make the progress every single day. It doesn’t need to be big. Just a step but done repeatedly every single day.
It’s the 1% progress per day that counts.
Plus, it’s a step that requires a small stretch outside of your comfort zone. If what you’re doing is easy, it’s not helping to get your confidence back.
Norman Vincent Peale said: “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result but the cause, of fear.”
It’s not only about you though.
As a leader, you have one additional important responsibility. Help and empower your people to become highly confident and effective.
Don’t let fear get in your or their way.